twistedtwinsproductions:




I am in tears laughing at this. It only gets funnier the longer you look at it.

twistedtwinsproductions:

image

I am in tears laughing at this. It only gets funnier the longer you look at it.

fantastcbeasts:

you’re lying if you say you’ve never recorded yourself singing because you were sure you had talent and were so deeply disappointed that you just deleted the recording and pretended it never happened 

vistale:

NYC

vistale:

NYC

If My Dog Could Talk

  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
  • Dog: WHERE GO
  • Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
  • Dog: I COME TOO
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: I need to open this door.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: Sigh.
  • Dog: WHERE GOING
  • Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: Sure.
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No please don't you are-
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No there's no room and-
  • Dog: LAP
  • Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
  • Dog: RIGHT HERE
  • Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
  • Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
  • Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I AM
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
  • Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
  • Me: .......
  • brimerica:

    [sweats nervously] d-did somebody say…girls? [wipes forehead] wowie uh, well, I, uh…[fans self] whoa well yes I-I guess, uh..[tugs at shirt collar] I guess they’re, y’know…um[dumps a bucket of water on self] kinda pr-pretty, um..[crawls into a pool of cold water] pretty neat and um..[falls on face] really cute

    macklemack:

    50 shades of dark circles under my eyes

    "This is my boyfriend, Renly. And this is Renly’s boyfriend, Loras."
    Margaery Tyrell, A Clash of Kings (via incorrectgotquotes)
    "this is proper gangster shit innit"
    matt healy @ longitude  (via asaphealy)